Inertia

Newton is a great physicist and yes, I know I used present tense when I should have used past tense since he's dead and all but I used present tense because I don't think that his death invalidates his magnificence. I mean, come on!That guy inferred the existence of gravity from an APPLE.

Uh-hem. As I was saying, Newton is a great physicist and his First Law proves his greatness because this law is universally applicable. Even to people. Especially to me.

Newton's First Law states that an object at rest will always remain at rest and an object in motion will always travel in the same direction and speed so long as it is not disturbed by any other object or force in its direction. Um, it's not very scientific, but the sense of it is there.

I now declare that I am in a state of inertia. Frightening state of inertia, I might add. I have barely done anything about the things I should be doing.

In any 12-step programme about addiction, confession and knowing you have a problem is no. 1. Now...if only I could move on to step no. 2. Which would probably consist of me slapping myself silly so that the pain would distract from my fear of failure and rejection. Hey look! Pop psychobabble! I'm so good at that, it's astonishing.

Is it fate?

In Casablanca, Humphrey Bogart famously said "Of all the bars in the world, she has to walk into mine" or something like that anyways.

I met this girl today - she's like 30plus, but she looks so young that I can't help but think of her as a girl - and she mentioned that her new boyfriend of a few months is a Brit who lives in Finland and who comes to Singapore every few months to give guitar lessons to some rich brat.

If she had been too busy to go to the concert where she met him, if in that split second where she decided to do something else besides go to that concert, their paths would not have converged...or perhaps they might have missed a few years of happiness before their lives and loves touched.

It got me thinking about my own boy. I met him at work, and I really really disliked him at first because I thought he was arrogant and I heard - but apparently there was a serious miscommunication by kaypohs - that he said I was F-A-T. So hair-pullingly insulting!

Anyways, there was this whole series of comic events fit for a sitcom and we finally got together after he completely and utterly swept me off my feet... Both figuratively and literally. And we might have never gotten together if I had decided to take up another job offer when I was still on probation with that job. And if I hadn't decided, at that point in time, to be more adventurous, date-wise.

And he might never have met me if he hadn't come to Singapore for a one-month holiday and decided to stay to set up a business with a friend. And if he hadn't fallen out with his friend and struck out on his own to find a job. And if he hadn't finally broke up with his girlfriend whom he had tried to break up with 3 or 4 times before.

So many ifs that finally led to us discovering each other. Sometimes, you find the right person, right feel but it's the wrong time. Oftentime, it's the right time, but wrong person. It really really hurts when the conditions or the person is wrong.

But on occasion...just on a few precious precious occasions, it's the right time and the right person.

I met someone who told me when I speak of my boy, my eyes and face light up and glow. I hadn't realised that and I'm so glad that I met someone who gives me that and I hope I give him that.

I also hope that someone whom I absolutely adore and who will be reading this will find the person who gives her a glowy lighting up feeling and forget the one who pulls her down into a muddy spiral of depression. Huggles to you, principessa fiora.

PostSecret

I really like the PostSecret concept and its blog - postsecret.blogspot.com. I'm quite a voyeur, and this is like peeking into people's secret lives but with permission. And when I read some of these secrets written on the creative postcards that are sent in, it engages my imagination immediately.

Some of them are quite eye-widening, and some a bit horrifying and some totally sweet and a few are inspiring. All are jaw-dropping. Entire life stories can sometimes be seen in that brief glimpse.

My favourite this week is the one right on top, about the unshaven man. There are others undoubtedly more poignant and some rather more gritty, but this one brings a movie into my head, and a wide smile on my face. Maybe soon I will post the stories strolling around my brain.

Is it always darkest before dawn?

What if dawn never comes and it is darkest all the way?

Life is really quite a discouraging endeavour and to people who can remain cheerful and optimistic all the time, I say good for you while wondering if you're real.

Me, I get the grumps and the doldrums and the difference between the two is a big toothy snarl and acid words. Trust me when I say PMS has nothing on this.

Lately I think life has been more discouraging than usual and if not for a few very very special people, one of whom will be reading this, I would probably be sunk into a spiralling black hole of depression. So thank you very much for just being you and being there.

If the title of this blog is true, I guess my dawn must be coming quite soon. There are a few prospects on the horizon, but I'm quite resigned at this point to the necessity of swallowing my pride and doing something I'd really rather not be doing, as I seriously doubt that the prospects will solidify and materialise quite soon.

Cross your fingers for me, everyone.